On July 27, 2007 12:18 am Richard said:

Thanks for your Blog Barbara but I really hope you make up with your Dad.

I’m sure you won’t forget he grew up in the Communist era where you would have been shot (literally) for what you do, lovely as it is.

We in the West (I’m in Britain) forget too easily how far and how how fast states iike the Czech Republic have come in such a short time.

Barbara – family must always come first, whatever. Your father is bound to have taken things hard and I hope you can make peace soon. Life really is too short and human relations come before porn anyday

On July 28, 2007 3:52 am Bee said:

I am so sorry about your father, and it would be nice if you two could have a meeting of minds.

There is a particular reason why parents do not like to think of their daughter (or son) having sex, and that is the INCEST TABOO. That is a very right and proper emotion which we have through Darwinian principles (please ask me if you want to know what that is), and the purpose is to prevent inbreeding so that the human race will be healthier.

I hear of children who are embarrassed even if they and their schoolfriends see their father dancing! They probably think their parents never fuck, and the children would be revolted by the idea. All that is part of that incest taboo.

Your father needs to think beyond that immediate emotion. Parents are often happy when their daughter has a baby so they become grandparents, aren’t they? Yes, but that means their daughter must have fucked, so they ought to realise that even on an emotional level they are not consistent.

If your father thinks that all girls in porn, not just you, are wrong or sinful, then that is another problem. That would probably arise from two causes:

1 His parents’ incest taboo, which led them to tell him, or imply by their attitude, that sex is wrong

2 Religion, which in Czech republic usually means Catholic, teaching that sexual pleasure is wrong, and that influence of the priests permeating the society.

Both these causes of your father’s attitude CAN be countered by reasonable discussion, but of course some people cannot be reasonable. In England we have a saying “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still”.

Please get back to me if you’d like me to say more about this.

Bee

On July 29, 2007 3:46 am Bee said:

I’ve just been reading this correspondence again, and this time two sentences leapt out at me.

“All my real friends never judge me because of my job”

and

“I never care what people think about that (my job)”

You are clearly implying that friends or people, if they thought about the morality of your job, would think it was wrong.

Would you care, dear Barbora, to answer me two questions?

Do you think that most people in the general population think that your job is wrong?

and

Do you yourself, deep down inside yourself, think that your job is in any way wrong?

I really would like to hear from you about this and anything you say would be confidential if you ask for that.

To me, it is obvious that what you do is RIGHT.

Let us compare you with a doctor.

First of all, let us imagine a state which we can call NORMAL. A person is healthy, no particular problems, no special cause for great happiness, just getting up in the morning, going to work, and having moderate enjoyment sometimes.

What a doctor does is, when a person is in pain, vomiting, ill in various ways, to bring the patient back to NORMAL. They were a certain distance below normal, and the doctor brings them up to normal.

What you do is to take a man who is in a NORMAL state and raise him up to a higher level, the supreme state of happiness, physical and mental pleasure, the highest level of excitement, pleasure and fulfilment any person can ever experience. The amount you raise him up, from NORMAL to the higher state, is the same as a doctor raises him up from the lower state to normal.

Who is more meritorious, more morally right,

a doctor who only treats one patient every month,
or
a doctor who treats a hundred patients in a month?

Does anybody say “I don’t think much of that doctor, he goes from patient to patient indiscriminately. He should be ashamed of himself, touching so many bodies and raising up the level of so many people instead of confining himself to one person or only a few”? Of course not!

If you were to give supreme pleasure to a hundred men in a month, to me you are deserving of praise as much as the doctor who treats a hundred patients.

I am sure there are some people who “think” that prostitution and your job which is very like prostitution is wrong. But I put the word “think” in quotation marks because, as I’ve said before, it seems that they are not actually thinking – working it out with facts and logic – but they have absorbed ideas from other people and now throw those same ideas out parrot-fashion.

What do you think?

Bee

On August 1, 2007 4:27 pm Alexxx said:

Hi Barbara!
First of all I hope you will find again good moments with your dears.
About porn I think the main issue is moral.
In fact nobody today would say anything about ethics because now almost everybody know that doing and seeing porn (at legal age) is fully legal and correct/acceptable.
At the opposite still a lot of people think that’s insane and deviant or at least criticizable.
In fact sex has been considered in a bad way (more animal than human???). Actually we pay this history.
But nobody cannot hide sex because is a part of our lifes.
Generally speaking for me there’s nothing wrong until porn affects your life in a bad way.
But you if it’s so you have to understand if it’s because someone is considering badly what you are doing that or because of the job/porn itself (for eg. you got sick, your collegues made you crying…).
In the first case it’s clearly the problem of that person that doesn’t accept we have sex in our life.
Of course this may affect you but it’s question to explain and to exchange ideas.
I know in Hungary some young girl working in the biz (and who maybe worked also for you) and I still think that porn may be a different way (funny? exotic? interesting?) to become adult.
Of course as in everything you must be strong (no job is easy at all and we must respect everybody starting from the waiter).
You have different choices in your life and you discover after if you took a shortcut to happiness or not. Simply you are not obliged to do what the others are doing.
And I have to admit that girls in the porn are often more brave than their male partners.
I respect them and, because I’m male, I have no problem into admitting that I like.
I have been sometimes jealous but that’s a part of life.
Every girl know when to stop or to change life but until that day is idiot judge the free choices of someone else.

Porn will change this way of thinking. People is demanding it and I think this will improve our world. The minimal requirement is to teach also the respect for the others (this means also to protect childrens) but it’s not just the job of porn-makers.
And porn is not THE cause of all the problems we have in our world. In the worst case is just a way to escape from.

My regards
Ale